Clinical Psychologist; on the rare skill of healing emotional pain

Sibongile Babusi, Clinical psychologist at Princess Marina Hospital discusses everything psychotherapy, from myths about therapy to roadblocks clients face; the challenges and triumphs of being a therapist to the menace that is rape in the society. What has surprised you the most about being a therapist? Clients expect us to never be sick, and that just because we are therapists we should understand all the time. What is the biggest myth about therapy? “It’s only for people who are mad” “We read minds” What seems to be the biggest obstacle for clients in therapy? Age and gender difference. Men are mostly uncomfortable talking to female therapists. There is a shortage of psychologists in Botswana. Chances are a department may be filled with females. In departments where there are only female therapists the gender/age barrier will always be there. There is language barrier. Most psychological concepts are in English; on translating them to Setswana they somehow loose the meaning. If not translated we are not communicating and still when translating the meaning may be lost. We do not have enough resources to assist clients adequately. We also have shortage of personnel in the field. What is the most challenging part about being a therapist? We preach detachment, theoretically it is possible but practically it’s not as easy as theory suggests. We get to relate when hearing a client’s story. Some hit straight home, some aim straight for the heart and others alter your perception about some phenomenon. In that way we are directly or indirectly affected. With no debriefing we also have difficulty coping. Being a therapist is emotionally demanding. You have to listen to three clients at most in a day and in each case you are to relate and understand the case. At the end of the day it’s emotionally exhausting. Just because we are therapists we are expected to never be offended. Some address us any how they wish and we are suppose to never pick offence because of the nature of our work. Other clients try to persuade friendship and some even try to offer gifts, which is unethical in our field, at the same time culture stipulates that it’s rude to refuse gifts. What do you love about being a therapist? I love helping people deal with problems. For physical pains we know the cure can be found in medication but when it comes to emotional pains there are no medication. So sitting down and listening to someone’s problems and helping them through the problem is one aspect of being a therapist that I love. Also the fact that by just talking we offer effective solutions makes me love therapy the most. It is those toothless smiles and heavy sighs of relief that make my day. If there’s one thing you wished your clients or patients knew about treatment or mental illness, what would it be? Psychotherapy is a process and not all problems are going to be fixed. In psychotherapy we set long-term goals with clients, which mean we cannot expect to see results immediately after the first session. Yes, there are instances that one will feel better but there is no assurance that one will feel better immediately after the first session. Psychotherapy is a cooperative effort between therapist and client. It’s not all about the therapist telling a client what to do but the client being ready to make changes in his/her life. A therapist has a responsibility to help but a client also has the responsibility to ensure their healing. What do you do personally to cope with stress in your life? I have a counsellor, it is overwhelming to work in a referral hospital so at some point I need to debrief (that’s for occupational stress). When I have stress (personal) I first have to understand what is stressing me and why it is stressing me, then it becomes easy to address it. If it’s not working I pray. The assurance that God is listening and is working out something to save the day somehow helps me calm down. I guess staying calm when you have stress helps in thinking through the problem, it gives one time to breathe and look at the stress from a different angle. Now on to a topic that has polarized public opinion in recent weeks, rape! It seems in many societies, the culture of rape is woven into the very fabric of society. Why do you think men rape? Is it an act of power and control? In a manual about mental disorder there is a specific disorder that relates to rapists so the cause may be psychological. Others rape because of faulty beliefs. For instance: “when a girl child is wearing mini they deserve to be raped”. To some it’s an act of power and control and in some cases it’s an act of revenge. Is sex a motivation? No, they just want to hurt and there are instances of wanting gratification (happiness from hurting). Discuss Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) and what determines how a person responds to rape? RTS is a group of reactions reported by victims of attempted or completed rape. The reactions are categorised in three being emotional, physical, and behavioural. The clusters of reactions have two stages being an acute (mostly emotional and physical reactions), immediate phase of disruptions and disorganisation and a long-term of reorganisation (emotional and behavioural reactions). The length of each stage can vary and there is a high chance of people to move back and forth between the stages. There is no determining factor as to how a person responds to rape. Different people react differently to rape as the context; nature of assault and the gender of assailant differs in each case. We seem to be a culture of victim blaming. What do you think is at the core of such mentality? Transfer of responsibility. As a community we do not want to take responsibility for allowing some things to happen. As a mother, a father or a relative what role did you play in raising a rapist or in ensuring that your son/daughter can never do that? As a community what did we do to prevent this? If the community is unable to account on that, we tend to blame the victim as we cannot blame ourselves. What are the psychological impacts of victim blaming on the victim? Most people who have been assaulted or there was an attempt are prone to present with the following psychological symptoms; Depression Suicidal ideations Social phobia Identity crisis Doesn’t it boil down to respect though? How do you teach respect especially to the boy child? It does boil down to respect. The family is a powerful teacher of character. If the boy child is taught from home to respect the girl child and understand that the boy child and the girl child are equal a lot of social ills can be reduced. At societal level, what do you think can be done to prevent abuse and/or better support those who have been abused in their recovery? Most people are not aware of the recent statistics of rape so the society takes the matter lightly. If there were awareness campaigns that the society can be aware that indeed rape is worrisome in Botswana then the society could have already been mobilising preventative measures. What is the best advice you can offer to readers on leading a meaningful life? Challenges are not meant to destroy us but to build us. Being your true self is the only way to live life to the fullest. Where does one find a therapist? In each and every region in the country there is a therapist and the service is offered for free in government hospitals. There are also therapists in the private sector who charge a consultation fee.